The Virtue of Responsibility

Responsibility has actually been a pretty easy virtue for our family to work on.  There is so much to learn about and so many opportunities to teach and model when it comes to responsibility.  One tip I’ve learned as a parent is to not teach these virtues in a frustrated or angry situation. If your child is not being responsible by picking up their toys after you’ve asked repeatedly for them to do so, or your older child has not finished their homework and its 9:00pm on a Sunday night, as frustrated as you might be, it's not wise to use the virtue to verbally discipline.  In other words, it will be much more effective to use the virtues in a positive way after you have caught them being responsible.  Or, you may use it in a way that prepares them for a task you are getting ready to ask them to do.   We must be able to maintain a healthy relationship with our children, of all ages, in order for them to continue to respect and obey what we are trying to help them understand.

For example, “Kate, would you please show responsibility and pick up your toys since you’re through playing with them?”  If Kate chooses to not pick up her toys after I have asked her several times.  I don’t continue badgering her on responsibility.  I simply discipline her for not obeying, as well as keep her toys that she didn’t pick up for a period of time.  We need to separate the discipline from the virtue so that the virtue does not become the enemy (or the church, where the family is talking about it).  I hope that makes sense.  Nagging our children will only cause more friction in the relationship and could cause resentment aimed at her relationship with God.  

Also, we need to remember that responsibility is not just in the ordinary tasks or jobs we do like cleaning our rooms or doing our homework. It’s also in our attitudes, behaviors, and even in our spiritual walk.  For example; I am responsible for my attitude even when I don’t like something or someone, like my co-worker who just threw me under the bus.  When the car pulls out in front of me on the road, I am responsible to control my temper and the words that come out of my mouth.  I am also responsible for growing in my walk with the Lord and spending daily time in prayer or in the Word instead of spending an irresponsible amount of time on social media or watching TV.

Remember, when teaching these virtues, more is caught than taught!  According to Christian Smith, a Sociologist and professor at Notre Dame, "When it comes to our kid's faith, we get what we are!”  Let’s work hard at modeling responsibility and show our kids how to strive to be responsible as we learn to take on the character of Jesus.