Parents' Influence is Crucial!

In his new book, Families and Faith: How Religion is passed across generations, Sociologist Vern L. Bengston of the University of Southern California, shares of his 35-year study on families passing on their faith to the next generation. 

One of the four key findings, in case you didn't already know, is that parental influence is still the single greatest influence on their children's faith. Here is a recap of this research written by the Fuller Youth Institute:

There is a common belief in our culture that parents wield less and less influence over their kids these days, and that those kids are increasingly abandoning the beliefs and values of their families of origin. It is not true. It probably never has been. What is true, according to Bengtson’s study, is that young adults today are just as likely to share their parents’ faith as they were in 1970. This is true whether you’re looking at religious affiliation (What religion are you?), religious intensity (How religious are you?), religious participation (How often do you attend?), Biblical literalism (What’s your view of the Bible?), or civic religiosity (How important should religion be in public life?). Across all these markers, parental influence is just as high as it was a generation ago. 

In other words, parents continue to be the single greatest influence on their children’s faith. (A quick aside: Grandparents, interestingly, are a close second. The study found that grandparents, especially grandfathers, who are highly religious were more likely to have grand kids who were also highly religious. It turns out that grandparents might be an underutilized asset in many churches and youth groups, not to mention families themselves.  

The bottom line: Parents matter. They matter a lot. 

Questions to Consider:

1. Take a look at the faith that you're passing on. What practices and/or beliefs do you hope your kids will inherit from you? 

2. How do your children see your faith naturally and consistently displayed in your own life? 

3. Where could you be more intentional about passing faith on?

Christmas Season

Several years ago, Oklahoma City experienced something that only comes around once in a decade or so it seems.  It was Christmas Eve morning, 2009 and our family was on our way to a party that we have been going to for 17 years.  I remember this particular year because there was a huge buzz going around that day about the snow storm that was apparently approaching the city.  

The church where I serve as a pastor was prepared to host its traditional Christmas Eve service that evening, so I would periodically sneak away to check the weather so we could determine if we needed to cancel the service.  I remember hearing all the gloom and doom reporters as they guessed just how much snow we were going to get that day.  It seemed to range from just a trace of snow to a couple of feet!  In reality it turned out to be just over 10” in the metro area.  It was the most snow recorded in a single day in Oklahoma City.  With winds blowing forcefully at 40-60 mph the storm quickly turned into blizzard conditions with very little visibility.  Snow drifts formed as high as 6ft in some places blanketing the hundreds of vehicles that were abandoned all over the streets and highways.  Interstates 35, 40 and 44 were desolate, all shut down, as well as the airport.

It was certainly a crazy few days as the entire city closed down.  People were stuck at home with seemingly nothing to do...except for spend time with their family.  Yes, that’s right, this “blessing in disguise” opened the door for memory making!  Sledding, movies, snowball fights, board games, video games, books, food, and lots of laughter.  I have never worn pajamas that long in my life! I didn’t know I had pajamas! That Christmas will always be remembered.  

Of course it took some time to stop feeling guilty that I wasn’t at work being “productive,” but as I settled in and focused on the gift that had been given to us, I truly discovered something that our culture seems to skip over all too easily. Unstructured time, no deadlines, no appointments, no phone calls, no homework, no sporting events, no hurrying.  For a few days we enjoyed each others company, we created space to love each other with our uninterrupted time, we slowed down long enough to listen to each other, and we reflected on the real meaning of the season, the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

This Christmas season, would you consider creating this kind of environment for your family?  Would you slow down long enough to listen and learn from your children?  Would you be patient and full of grace? Would you be intentional with your time and creatively teach your family about the real meaning of Christmas?  Would you consider looking for needs around you that your family could help meet?  Would you make this Christmas one for the record books?  One that will not soon be forgotten?

There’s such a sense of joy, anticipation, and mystery during this time of year. Embrace it!  Allow the “awe” of the season to capture your heart and fill you with the love of the new born King!

“God made man simple; man’s complex problems are of his own devising” (Eccles. 7:30 JB).